The Case of the Lazy Artist

Once, when I was ten, my Dad said to me- "You are the biggest procrastinator I've ever known."
I asked, "What does that mean?"- and he told me to look it up in the dictionary.
I never got around to it.
Ironic, dontcha think?
Get well soon Pop.

Here's a blast from my college past. In my senior year, I was privileged to work with Rick Geary
as a part of my mentor program. Mr. Geary is an exceptional illustrator who had at the time, been illustrating comic book versions of classic novelists such as Dickens ("Great Expectations") and Bronte ("Wuthering Heights").
I decided to take on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's reknown detective Sherlock Holmes- a character I'd always loved reading in high school.
And which Holmes mystery should it be?
The Hound of the Baskervilles, Elementary!
In preparing for this project, it dawned on me that though I'd been drawing comic book characters for as long as I could remember, I'd never actually attempted to draw an actual comic book!
Ironic, dontcha think?
I really struggled to pull off the look- I thought it would be a breeze because cartooning had always been my comfort zone, but there's a deceptive discipline in those rectangle boxes.
Mr. Geary made some very generous crits- mainly focusing on better editing- as I think I had translated the first chapter literally word-for-word as is evidenced by the cramped word balloons!
Though it is unpolished as it is unfinished, ("Procrastinator!")
I still received a passing grade for it.

Ribbit!

Two Face

KennaSketch 3/25
She was teasing me this weekend with a coin she took from me.
"Nyah! Nyah! I gotcha Nickel!" she says holding it at arms length.
I quickly grab her wrist and try to pry it out of her tight clutch.
I start to pull away each finger, counting them off one by one when she cries out-
"NO Dad! If you put the middle finger up it's saying a curse word to you!"
she whimpers near tears...
I'm kinda taken aback that she even knows this information and immediately let her hand go saying- "I'm sorry baby-I know you didn't mean it like that..."
She runs away laughing-
"I gotcha Nickel! I gotcha Nickel!"

I got served by a six year old.

Dear Blog...

Ya know, It's Hard out here for a Pimp.
Dear Blog- I've neglected you for a week. Have I shot my load?
Am I burnt-out like Courtney Love on an oxycontin bender?
I'm having a hard time at work-and I think it's carrying over creatively...
And last weekend was St. Patrick's Day and I don't Drink & Draw.
I also think I'm kind of addicted to my friends' blogs at the moment.
I'm something of a comment whore.
But poor Blog! Look at you! Still with that busted Manchu scribble
and that Mikey Z story that I realized after the fact didn't make him
sound like a stand-up guy at all! I made him sound like a fall-down
drunk! (Sorry Z-you deserved better'n that)
C'mon Blog! I promise I'll do the dishes! I'll pick up my balled-up socks
from under the bed. I'm gonna clean you up good, Blog!
I have to say I'm feeling a little underwhelmed by my recent posts.
Let's make it work, Blog!
Let's start tonight-













FrogDaddy

"Shotgun Mikey"

"Come on home, girl" he said with a smile.
"You don't have to love me but let's get high awhile"
"But try to understand....try to understand....
Try, Try Try to understand....I'm a Magic Man." - Heart

Here a real muddied up version of Manchu- a wizard I doodled
on a bus ride home from Boston one weekend....It got shmudged
by my heavy handed lead from the opposite page...I coulda cleaned
it up in photoshop I guess, but fuggit, I'm lazy!
I'm sending a Happy Birthday Shout-Out to one of my oldest friends- Mikey Z!
He's officially 39 today, so he's still a year removed from his
"Harrison Ford Mid-Life Crisis Earring Kit:"! Ribbit!
Anyways, a quick Miguelito Zeta Jones story so the masses can see what a stand-up
guy he is: When I met Mike in college back in 1986, he was as fresh-faced as they came...
(think Steve Carell from the 40 year old virgin) I mean, the lad had never had a drink in his life!
We cleared that hurdle soon enough! A few years had passed and one summer I invited him to come to a summer camp I was working in New Jersey. There were a lot of people from England who worked at the camp gratis for the plane ticket stateside. These sassy English lifeguard babes were throwing a party in their cottage that evening, so we made the beer run into town. Somehow a dude in the car convinced Mikey and I to eat an entire Entenman's Pound Cake before the party.
"It'll absorb ALL the alcohol! You can drink ALL NIGHT LONG!" (all night.)
That night we taught Mikey Z how to shotgun a can o' beer.
(For those who haven't ever shotgunned- You punch a hole in the side of a can of beer. You place hole to your mouth. You open can. Beer flushes down throat like Tide-D-Bowl Man.)
He was a freakin natural.
The boy, to the encouragement of the entire room ,shotgunned an entire six pack! I had to take him aside and let him know that we hadn't quite tested the "Pound Cake" theory yet and maybe we should slow it down a bit,
but later on that evening, I saw him putting away a coupla more! I coulda sworn I saw him crush a can against his forehead after finishing one of them.
We all know how this story ends....
I finally find him a few hours later outside leaning against the cottage as if he was holding it up.
I gave him the courtesy- "You o.k. dude?"
Then his body just gave this horrible shudder/convulsion lurch and with a cry of
"WHHHOOOOOOARRRRGGGGUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
the entire contents of the night
shot out like a riot hose. He turns around to me, eyes wet, and says-
"Never again, dude.....never again.....
WHHHOOOOOOARRRRGGGGUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

(Wonder how I'm gonna fit 39 candles on a pound cake?)

Poses

"The yellow walls are lined with portraits-
and I got my new red fetching leather jacket-
and all of these poses, such beautiful poses-
makes any boy feel like picking up roses."
- Rufus Wainwright

Picturing "Pedro"

"Something new is what we need-
Something new we have agreed-
It is time for us to look for something new."- The Smithereens

Here's a sketchbook combo meal with special sauce!
I'm trying to create a dragon for this story I'm writing for McKenna.
I've never really tried my hand at sci-fi/fantasy save for a coupla crappy high
school dungeons and dragons type sketches i did before my balls dropped.
I'm using lizards to get the feel for rendering "dragon-skin", but I'm really new
to this type of stuff....
I'm a people person!
Anyone have any links to some cool Dragon pics? I need some inspirato....
I included a quick KennaSketch (3/9) cause she when she stretches, she












S T R E T C H E S !

ribbit!
FrogDaddy

Expecto Patronum!

Here's a newish KennaSketch! 3/6
She's wearing the latest in Harry Potter fashions....
Since my "Boys of Blog" Frankenstein creation
seemed to have gone over as well as Jon Stewart
at the Oscars,I thought I'd throw something up
quick.... 'twas not my intention to offend, lads...
ribbit!

The Boys Of Blog

"Friends....How many of us have them?"- Whodini

Here's to my boys of blog:
Charlie "Toolz of the Trade" Valderrama and Jesse "Jesse's Sketchpad" Hernandez.
(with love to Keeper's Notes for the floating OMMMM)
we know you're taking care of business at home with your lovelies
and if we give you shit because you don't have as much time to post
as you used to, it's only cause we miss you round the lillypad-
ribbit!

(DaddyNotes: the montage contains photos & art of the above-mentioned blogspots
and are all copyrighted by their respective creators...in Charles' case-literally.)

The Cutter

" I like to wait- to see how things turn out.....
When you apply some pressure." - Maximo Park

The above cartoon is only 50% accurate.
The following story is about 88% percent true.
Yesterday, I stopped by my regular deli for my morning bagel and bottle of tea- pretty
much a routine for me before going to work. This deli is always packed with commute-dazed
New Yorkers and it's completely claustrophobic. You're either pushing or getting pushed.
I'm waiting in line with about 4 people behind me when this guy walks right up to the register.
Bypassing all of us and seemingly oblivious to common deli line etiquette.
I'm not a violent man.
I've mentioned previously that I dislike confrontation.
So what compelled me to walk up to this guy (6'1, 250 lbs, early 40's by my guessitmates) and tap him on the shoulder repeatedly until he turned around?
I HATE being cut in line. It's a damn social injustice that should never be tolerated.
"Dude- there's a line."
"So?"
"SO?" (.....Slow Burn)
"So you're a dick, dude."
"Fuck you, jerkoff."
Now, I've heard a comedian named Dane Cook mention that once an
altercation enters the "Fuck You" stage, there's nothing you can say
to beat that. And it's true...it's just a matter of volume after that.
"FUCK ME?" and at this point I take a step towards him...
"Fuck YOU man!"
and at that point he was completely done with his transaction and
the guys behind the counter were hollering at both of us and I realized
that the whole place dropped a few decibels....then I kinda checked myself
and realized the situation wasn't worth all the fuss and turned my back on
the jackass and paid for my breakfast.
And lived to draw another day.
Anyways, The above sketch is my therapeutic graphic handling of the scene with
FrogDaddy dispensing his virtual justice.
I'm not a violent man.
I just play one in cartoons.
Ribbit!

FrogDaddy