Mr. April
I'm a hater.
Have you ever gone to an online message board for a TV show you watch just to get another person's P.O.V. on it? (This, to me, is why the internet was invented.)
So you're reading people's takes on things and there's always one guy with some
insanely geeky User ID that probably starts with "Darth"- who sparks some shit up on the message board by saying things like: "This show jumped the shark when they opened the hatch!"
or "The writing on 'Heroes' is so puerile." and then the show's defenders rush to the rescue and start calling DarthAnus a "hater" for ripping something they all love.
"If you don't like the show, then why are you posting on our message board?"
"You're a hater DarthAnus! Why don't you go drink some Hater-ade?!!!" and so on.....
Hater. Yeah. That's me.
I hate A-Rod.
That's Alex Rodriguez. Yankee Third Baseman. of the 250 million dollar contract.
Now I'm a lifelong Yankee fan-
This guy has won an M.V.P award with us-He's a perennial All-Star lock-
This guy just had the best month in baseball history!
Why can't I root for him? I mean- ferchrissakes! I don't even know him!
He could be, off the field, a genuinely decent human being. I doubt it though.
About two years ago-in the middle of a Yankee-Twins playoff baseball game- with the Yanks down a run, two outs, and a man on base- Rodriguez was up to bat.
I stood up on my seat and yelled-
"HEY 'GAY-ROD'! WHY DON'T YOU HIT US AN IMPORTANT HOME-RUN FOR ONCE?!!!"
and wouldn't you know it?
that fucker hit the next one in the center field bleachers.
Crowd goes crazy. I sit down.
I spent the rest of that game getting razzed by some Growing Up Gotti Guidos in #13 jerseys who sat two rows in front of me.
That would be his only extra base hit of that series, by the way.
I wish I could explain it...
The man just brings out the ugly in me....
I said it when we signed him, and I'll commit it to the blogosphere:
We will NEVER win with him on our team.
But I've personally always liked my old man's quote on him last september-
(Try to hear this in a Capt. Kirk-like staccato)
"A-Rod. Is.....A LOLLIPOP."
Alright- I'm gonna end this hate filled rant right here, or I'll end up hating MYSELF in the mornin'
I'll try and post some positive next time....
I'm a grumpy gus-
F-Daddy
posted by Glenn Byrne @ 12:28 AM
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