Mr. April
I'm a hater.
Have you ever gone to an online message board for a TV show you watch just to get another person's P.O.V. on it? (This, to me, is why the internet was invented.)
So you're reading people's takes on things and there's always one guy with some
insanely geeky User ID that probably starts with "Darth"- who sparks some shit up on the message board by saying things like: "This show jumped the shark when they opened the hatch!"
or "The writing on 'Heroes' is so puerile." and then the show's defenders rush to the rescue and start calling DarthAnus a "hater" for ripping something they all love.
"If you don't like the show, then why are you posting on our message board?"
"You're a hater DarthAnus! Why don't you go drink some Hater-ade?!!!" and so on.....
Hater. Yeah. That's me.
I hate A-Rod.
That's Alex Rodriguez. Yankee Third Baseman. of the 250 million dollar contract.
Now I'm a lifelong Yankee fan-
This guy has won an M.V.P award with us-He's a perennial All-Star lock-
This guy just had the best month in baseball history!
Why can't I root for him? I mean- ferchrissakes! I don't even know him!
He could be, off the field, a genuinely decent human being. I doubt it though.
About two years ago-in the middle of a Yankee-Twins playoff baseball game- with the Yanks down a run, two outs, and a man on base- Rodriguez was up to bat.
I stood up on my seat and yelled-
"HEY 'GAY-ROD'! WHY DON'T YOU HIT US AN IMPORTANT HOME-RUN FOR ONCE?!!!"
and wouldn't you know it?
that fucker hit the next one in the center field bleachers.
Crowd goes crazy. I sit down.
I spent the rest of that game getting razzed by some Growing Up Gotti Guidos in #13 jerseys who sat two rows in front of me.
That would be his only extra base hit of that series, by the way.
I wish I could explain it...
The man just brings out the ugly in me....
I said it when we signed him, and I'll commit it to the blogosphere:
We will NEVER win with him on our team.
But I've personally always liked my old man's quote on him last september-
(Try to hear this in a Capt. Kirk-like staccato)
"A-Rod. Is.....A LOLLIPOP."
Alright- I'm gonna end this hate filled rant right here, or I'll end up hating MYSELF in the mornin'
I'll try and post some positive next time....
I'm a grumpy gus-
F-Daddy
posted by Glenn Byrne @ 12:28 AM
17 comments
17 Comments:
i thought the internet was invented so lonely guys wouldn't have to leave the house for pornography!but i see now that it's an instrument of evil...hatin on the a-rod,hatin on bloc party! SO MUCH HATE !! DON'T GIVE IN TO THE DARK SIDE!
oh yeah,i forgot to mention that i'm gonna start callin' punk-asses "LOLLIPOPS"! i died laughin when i read that!
Oh this is so fun for me!
Glenn, you are on the right track here - now you just have to start hating the rest of them one at a time, and before you know it you'll be a Red Sox fan just like me.
Come on, you can do this - say something bad about Rivera. Or maybe it would be easier to start with unfrozen caveman center-fielder.
Incidentally, it was a $252 million contract. Do you hate him $2 million more now?
We will, without a doubt, be talking this weekend, my friend.
The Yankees (8-12) are on their longest skid since also dropping six in a row from May 28 to June 3, 2005. They managed only four singles and are percentage points behind Tampa Bay in the AL East.
Next up, a three-game series at home against the rival Red Sox, who swept New York last weekend in Boston. The first-place Red Sox already have a 5 1/2 -game cushion over the Yankees, but Johnny Damon said there's no reason to panic -- yet.
"There's going to be panic soon if the winning doesn't start. We have to stay close," he said. "If we can't start getting victories, I'm sure there's not going to be too many happy people."
Dice-K agrees with you...
Anyway, it's not just the types of pitches Matsuzaka throws as much as what he does with them. In his first at-bat against Alex Rodriguez, who could hit a home run with a broomstick these days, Matsuzaka planted a fastball in his left shoulder.
"Of course when you’re facing such a hot and talented batter, the thing you want to do as a pitcher is pitch inside to him," Matsuzaka said. "As I was watching the games the previous two nights, I didn't really think that we were pitching too hard inside to him. I was definitely very, very conscious of throwing inside to him, and of course hitting him on that pitch was purely an accident."
Matsuzaka did tip his cap, an apologetic gesture in Japan.
He also smirked.
The Yankees jumped the shark when they hired back Billy Martin.
Still I look forward to a season of watching the best Yankee to ever wear the pin stripes, A-Rod. He should have signed for $500 million as he is a bargain at any price.
sometimes the only way to get rid of the hate is with a cathartic blog...for what it's worth i loved bloc party's last album...
eric you're user name should be-
espnsoder...you're a fricking wealth of information-all of it bad....thanks man...
maybe we can salvage this weekend series...
darth anus thanks for hatin' by....
Darth Anus was me, too.
The weekend could have been better for me, but 2 out of 3 ain't bad.
If it's any consolation, Jake's Little League Yankees won this weekend.
One of the coaches had back surgery and I've been helping out. At the last game, the manager said, "Thanks, I really appreciate it...I'll have to get you a jersey."
I'm hoping he'll forget. But if he doesn't, I'll put a picture up on my blog for you. It will be worse than the Starbuck's pictures last year.
Hey, I thought that was a giant snowcone at first!
As for the Yanks..man, talk about yer bad luck...last nite with that rookie throwing a no hitter into the 7th and then pulling a hammy...but the Yanks are the Yanks..I still think they'll be right there with the Sox atop the division by the end of the season...somehow.
i appreciate the faith justin-that's very big of a met fan to say so..what's really killin me is I just signed that kid on my fantasy team last week! Phooey! eric-what can I say? you guys got our number so far-it's only may, though...
crap! forgot to congrats Jake's Yankees in me last post! Hey will you rock a uni during the games, too? There's a pic I'd like to see...
Mr. April is almost Mr. June...
damn right, Justin!
holy crap! I guess bloggin's a cold-weather sport...been too busy to throw anything up...
hopefully I'll be rid of this venomous post soon...(still hate A-Rod tho...)
BLUMPKIN TO YOU AS WELL!
Do you still hate A-Rod and his 60 + RBI?? That's insane!! The Yankees are playing unreal ball...looks like it's gonna be EIGHT in a row tonite...! Incredible...like I said...in the end, the Yanks will be right there...as usual...but The Mets...what the hell happened..?!???
PS we know yer bizzy, but we're gettin' tired of the snow cone!!! ;)
I contribute the recent Yank winning streak to the latest Met's skid, Justin...call me superstitious...Yeah I'm bummed- I haven't drawn in about a month and a half now...
there may be a project in the works that will change that, but I'm not at liberty to discuss it at the moment...maybe my next post...which hopefully will be before Independence Day....maybe...
Come on Froggy. I just trash talked you on my blog for still being Mr. April. And the Yankees are closing in. Hop to it. Draw a quick picture of me or something and get it posted. Before you know it, Rachel will be there and you'll never get to your blog.
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